you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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