I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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