Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
