I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
