Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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