I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
