My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
