I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
