I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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