i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
