i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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