it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
