Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
