she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
