super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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