windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
