watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
