Walk of Shame today included voting.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize