True but thats because hes a fetus.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
