Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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