well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
