Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
