Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I need a burrito and a hug.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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