Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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