have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
