I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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