wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
