if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
