they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
