'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
