Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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