Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
