I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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