I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
