took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we made out on top of his cat.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
