Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
