I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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