I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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