I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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