She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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