Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
