dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
