so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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