Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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