Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
