so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize