can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
