just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
