I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
