we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
