you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
